An open letter to the Discovery Channel:

What happened.

I thought we had something.

Something has happened in recent years that has caused the Discovery channel to turn into something I just don’t want to watch anymore. Shows like American Chopper, American Hot Rod, Monster Garage, Surprise by Design, and even Party Planner have replaced the constant flood of documentaries that I fell in love with in the mid-90s. It’s so very, very sad.

Why did you abandon your tried-and-true formula, Discovery? Was it a ratings thing? When your red-headed stepchild, TLC, started broadcasting home-improvement shows 24/7, I didn’t complain – I just turned to you and watched shows about gazelles grazing and electrons flowing. But now I can’t even tell you and TLC apart anymore. Shows about home improvement and motorcycle building have all but replaced my beloved documentaries about whales and lasers.

I’m letting you know that I’m leaving you, Discovery. I’m leaving you for a younger woman. The History Channel knows what it takes to turn this 26 year old on. I can watch incredible shows like Modern Marvels EVERY DAY on The History Channel.

So you keep airing shows about angry motorcycle building guys with more muscles and testosterone than I’ll ever have, and I’ll be watching the History Channel. I won’t give up on you, though…I’ll check in from time to time to see if you’ve gone back to your roots, and if that day ever comes rest assured I’ll start watching just as much as I used to. But for now, my heart belongs to History.

Your Pal,

Brett Dunst