Last night I finally had an opportunity to check out a world-famous cougar den – the Foxfire restaurant in Anaheim Hills.

We showed up after dinner and went straight to the bar because a friend’s band was playing that night.

Foxfire. Locally it’s known by many names.

Wrinkle Ranch.
Menopause Manor.
The Crotchfire.

All of these names turned out to be terrifyingly accurate.

I was prepared to see older women hooking up with younger men, but what I got was an all-out freakshow.

Sure, I saw plenty of “May-December” romances. I was expecting that. But they worked both ways – older women with younger men AND older men with younger women.

Some people there had aged gracefully, and some…had not.

I saw a woman in her 40s with a face like a man and hair like a warthog.

I saw a black man in his 50s with a package so big it looked like he took a crap in the front of his pants.

I saw a guy my age copping a feel on a good-looking woman old enough to have been his mother.

I saw people as old as my grandparents dirty dancing.

It was only a Thursday night and the place was packed. If you’re turned on by the mystique of an older lover and the faint scent of Preperation H wafting through the air, I cannot recommend Foxfire enough.