We went to Dave and Buster’s Friday night for a little holiday weekend partying.

I got totally addicted to the ‘drop a coin in and see if it makes the little pusher things knock more coins off the edge’ game.

You know what I’m talking about, right? One of these bad boys:

I was seriously the master of arcade tickets that night. I knew when a coin-pusher machine was hot, and I knew when it was time to cut ties and move on to a new machine with more potential.

And no matter where I went, I kept winning! And winning big!

It was like I just couldn’t stop machines from spitting out tickets! I’m telling you I was on fire. As soon as a machine finished up spitting out one run I’d make another big score and more tickets would come out in an unending stream!

Drunk girls stared at my fistfulls of tickets in awe. Their vato boyfriends would come up to me and ask me what my ‘secret’ was. I have no secret guys, please don’t shoot me in the parking lot later.

I collected my spoils and took them to the redemption counter. 2600 tickets! Can you imagine how many plastic spider rings that’ll get me! Oh boy!

Wait..what? You have no plastic spider rings? What kind of establishment is this! Every redemption arcade in the HISTORY OF MAN has plastic spider rings, and you’re telling me you have none?

Oh I see, I can get 26 Dave and Buster’s shot glasses. How practical! 2000 gets me a coffee maker, eh? That might be a good deal if I were a moron, but thanks for the suggestion!

In the end I couldn’t find a single thing in their redeption store that I wanted – not even a little bit. I decided to bank my tickets (they store the value on a magnetic-stripe card) and I’ll come back another time to grow my winnings.

In the meantime more suckers will go play those machines and load them up with coins that teeter on the edge for ME to push off!