It all started Friday morning when my car wouldn’t start. She’s an ’02 Camry V6, pretty much the most reliable car ever, so this was unexpected!

It had been taking two or three seconds to crank the starter lately, whereas it usually takes less than one.

Turns out the battery had died so I called my roadside assistance people to come out and jump it. That got me out of my garage and I drove straight to Pep Boys for a new battery.

I picked up my car that afternoon and it was working fine. Then I got to a stoplight and it stalled. I started it up again, but as it idled the RPMs would drop to zero a few seconds later and the engine just shut off.

I had to have my car towed. You have no idea how distressing that actually is until it happens to you. Granted, I was within walking distance from my house, but my car was stalled out in a left-turn lane and all I could do was stare at it from the street corner, trying to call my roadside assistance people in a cellphone dead-zone.

It turns out I had a dirty throttle body. I have no idea what this means other than my car has a throttle, and the body part was dirty. I also know that nothing actually broke or wore out, and I didn’t have to buy any parts. It was just dirty!

I guess after four years and 85,000 miles things can get pretty messy in there. The Internets say I should have had this done at 75,000 miles. The Internets also says this is partly my fault for always buying the absolute cheapest gas possible with the lowest octane. Eh.

So anyway on Saturday the mechanic cleaned my throttle body and now my car rides good as new! The idle is super quiet and BLACK LIGHTNING feels like her old self again.

The stress of that whole episode pretty much killed any chance I had of enjoying my Friday off, though.

BUT! Tammy saved the day and surprised me with tickets that night to the newish Pirate’s Dinner Adventure in Buena Park on Friday night. I was looking to drown my sorrows, and the pirate wenches did not leave me hanging. A few drinks later and I didn’t even care about my car. I was like “Car? What car? Oh that? Throw it off a cliff, who gives a shit!”