Last night as I was getting ready for bed I took the time to sample my own armpit odor. I wasn’t really trying to, but sometimes when you take your shirt off and your head is turned just the right way you get a whiff of the good stuff whether you want to or not.

As expected, the fumes were horrific and gag-inducing. They smelled – and this exact phrase popped into my mind – “like the dickens”.

Then I wondered what Charles Dickens had done to find himself the subject of such a maligned catchprase. Things hurt like him all the time, and my armpits even smelled like him! Charles Dickens must have been a true ass.

Well that’s not really the case. The internet has informed me that ‘Dickens’ actually refers to THE DEVIL!

My armpits smelled like SATAN HIMSELF!

There is only one solution. I must now scrub my armpits with angels.