Picking which songs go into a game like Guitar Hero must be hard.

I’ve been playing it for the past week and it’s been super fantastic. I do love the game – it’s tons of fun…but some of these songs are really getting on my nerves.

I haven’t even heard most of the songs in the game before. They’re fun enough to play for a while…up to a point. When you find yourself saying “I have to play this death metal shit again?” you start to realize that you really only truly enjoy a handful of songs in the game and maaaaybe you’re just tolerating the rest to unlock the achievements. Admit it!

I never liked Anthrax growing up, so why would that change now just because I can pretend-play their songs?

To be fair, there’s some nice diversions sprinkled in there (Less Talk More Rokk and Misirlou are particularly awesome) but they’re the exception.

My ideal Guitar Hero game would combine 70s disco, 80s new-wave/synth-pop, and no hair bands. Or heavy metal.

That would be an amazing thing. Truly. It would make me so happy I would probably cry a little. I would buy twenty copies just to keep the game in circulation, just like Scientologists keep buying copies of Dianetics.

I think I’m missing the point of Guitar Hero! But I just want to play songs that I like, not songs that are famous for having thrashin’ guitar solos. If I could play Earth Wind & Fire’s September on this controller I would not rest until Elbow Macaroni was at the top of the leaderboards. For real.

I’ve started saying ‘guitar’ like a cowboy too. GIT-tar. I think it sounds way cooler.