Last night we took the official ‘expectant parent’ tour of the hospital where my daughter will be born, Saddleback Memorial in Laguna Hills.

I liked it. As soon as a baby pops out they slap an ID bracelet on its arm. If that bracelet ever crosses over a big red line in the carpet surrounding the maternity ward, the whole place goes on lockdown. Alarms go off, doors seal themselves, and your baby’s kidnapper is thwarted. And really, who wouldn’t want to steal my baby? She’s destined for greatness, you know.

The labor rooms are pretty swank. They’ve got hardwood floors, great views, a big wooden armoire with a nice TV and room for lots of clothes, and all kinds of equipment in them so that your baby never needs to leave your sight if you don’t want it to.

All we have to do is show up with a pregnant lady and a car seat, and they take care of everything else – diapers, supplies, whatever. Our baby classes start this week too. So exciting!