Once a year our homeowners association holds an election for open positions on the board of directors. You can either vote at the annual meeting or through a secret ballot sent to you in the mail.

I just received this year’s ballot and have to say, I’m considering voting for Leonard Stamper.

I could almost hear the paper shouting at me as I read it. He seems so cranky, and yet so serious!

Other candidates usually write up some fluff piece about them being ‘dedicated to the community’ and making it a ‘better place to live’ and yadda yadda. Leo has made preservation of views his one and only issue.

This tells me it’s something that’s probably been bugging him for a while and “GODDAMN IT WHAT DO I PAY THESE HOA FEES FOR IF I CAN’T SEE DOWNTOWN LA BECAUSE OF THE JOHNSONS’ PALM TREES! I’M GONNA RUN FOR OFFICE AND TEACH THOSE A-HOLES HOW TO RUN A HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION, DAG-GUM.”

I don’t have much of a view to speak of, and what little there is isn’t obstructed by trees, but if I did, Leonard would probably be my new best friend….a voice of reason in a sea of indifference.